Today

I didnt want to get up due to a really bad headache and a really bad tummmy ache, however I did get up because my mom made me. I took a hot bath and ate toast and jam with some milk, my tummy really didnt want it so I threw it up. Then I drank a bottle of water and about 4:15 a.m. I fell back and woke back up at 6:30 a.m. and took a shower and came to school and ate a sausage bisquit and now I'm starving and still have a really bad headache and I just want to sleep. I probably am sick but who knows?

Life

Well I met someone new and she's real sweet to me. :) I love talking to her cause she makes me smile so much! I really think I could go far with this one but I'm scared to make the first move. I mean we talk all the time but I'm scared to be the one to ask her out. She is so precious and beautiful, she's so energetic and happy and I think thats what I need. :)

Best Thing

I was waiting for the bell to ring and I get a text message from Sarah and she hasnt talked to me all day and she asked me is she could come over and hang out with me and I said yes and we ate dinner and she left at like 9 o'clock and well I really love her but she's been real mean to me lately and I dont know if I deserve that.

Something new

Well I was talking to Sarah the other day and she was like I'm gonna spend the weekend with my dad and I made a sad face because I love her and I really wanted to spend this weekend with her but I understand that she misses her dad so she is at her dads right now and I'm just so scared she's gonna hang out with this one girl that she knows and that girl likes her and I'm scared Sarah is gonna forget me. :( But I trust her so that should be ok right? Well I love her very much and I think I should be able to just believe her that she will not hurt me. She's my everything, and my life and I'm so klfhj;oishtoiwf about her! lol :)

Childhood memories

I lost my dad when I was 6 months old and then I go to meet up with him when I was like 6 or 7 and we would go to the mall and the park and just sit there and swing and I would get to hang out with him. All I thought about doing before I got to see him was just picture in my head what he looked like and what he liked to do when he wasnt busy, What he did on his free time. When I first saw him I cried because for the longest time my mom told me that my dad said he would leave if she had another kid and then I came along so I always thought that I was the reason that he left. Now that I'm 17 and almost 18 I can keep in contact with him and he is coming here soon and going to come to one of my performances, he has never came to one before, but thats ok because he's still my father and I love him even if he doesn't come see me alot. He missed both my brother's first son and my Sister's son. I remember that he would take me to the park when I was little and when he woulod call me I remember asking him why he was crying and he would just say "its ok your my little princess and I love you and miss you lots" then he would just say he had to go and that he would talk to me later but I wouldn't get a call for day maybe weeks.

Crushed

I am in love with a girl named Sarah and I found out she is still talking to her ex-girlfriend, and I have to choose if I wanna let her continue talking to her or just say you gotta choose me or her, but I dont see how it would be harmful to let them be friends but only friends because she needs to pick me or her to be with but like I said its not just that she is wanting both of us, she's cheating and I dont like that so I told her choose and she asked if I wou;d give her another chance to see if they really arent going to work out and I said sure go for it, But if you get hurt you cant be sad about it. I'm there for her through the ups and downs, Think and thin, happy or sad, I'm gonna be by her side no matter what happens. I'm always there for her and it will always be that way because Sarah's parents dont like the other girl and her parents dont like Sarah so they cant see each other. So I think I just need to let them see how its going to work out for them and then go from there and I'll be there for her when she gets hurt and I will catch her tears because I love her so very much!!!!!

This crushing week!

This whole week has been really really bad.
My so called friend was suppost to be keep
a serect and he told everyone and now I'm
going through this whole big mess that I cant
stand. My girlfriend is having doubts and that
is killing me, I just wanna cry, sometimes I
wish that if maybe I wasnt here that everyone
would be so much better without me, But I would never do that because I love life but right now its just so crazy because I have this feeling I'm going to lose her and I really dont want to because I love her with everything I have, We have been together for 3 years and I just would be lost without her like you would be lost if you didnt have your phone. I just dont know what to do, I'm gonna try and give her some space and let her think and let her like think things through. I just hope this doesnt end badly, She is the love of my life even if I'm just in high school I dont care. I love her and she has been there for me through the ups and downs and I am sticking with her though her surgery. The other girl she is talking to will leave her if she has to lose her hair for the cancer if thats what she has, the doctors think she has a brain tumor or something of that nature and they are about to schedule an appointment for her to get that taken care and I will stick with her through all of this tragic event. I just hope she see's that I will be by her side through think and thin, happy or upset, wrong or right, mad or sad, disappointed or proud, through all that she is going through now!